How Internal Family Systems Therapy Supports Healing Past Childhood Trauma
Hi, I’m Kayla! I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Minnesota and I specialize in attachment trauma. Many of my clients are working to heal past attachment wounds from childhood so that they can show up more authentically in their daily lives.
Before we dig into Internal Family Systems and how it supports folks as they heal attachment wounds- let’s first identify what attachment trauma is.
Attachment trauma, also often called “complex trauma” or “generational trauma” refers to pain points in attachment relationships. Often, these significant attachment wounds happen in early childhood with our primary attachment figures, such as parents or other caregivers. Those moments of attachment are so significant because that’s when we are developmentally figuring out relationships, our sense of self, and the world around us.
These wounding moments can be the “big T” traumas, such as the loss of a loved one or physical abuse. They can also be, and in my practice more commonly are the “little t” traumas, such as chronic invalidation, dismissal of emotions, or parental acceptance based on performance outcomes. While sometimes these attachment wounds are due to obvious and significant errors in parenting, it often is the result of parents doing the best that they can given the areas of healing that they have not attended to yet.
So, where does Internal Family Systems fit into this?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is an innovative approach to psychotherapy that provides individuals with tools to understand and heal their internal conflicts, particularly those stemming from childhood trauma. This therapeutic model, developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, emphasizes the importance of recognizing the multiple "parts" within each individual, each with its own perspectives, feelings, and roles. Through the process of exploring these internal components, adults can work through past experiences and foster a greater sense of self-compassion and harmony.
The Concept of Parts
In IFS therapy, the notion of "parts" refers to different aspects of an individual's internal experience that have developed in response to various life experiences. These parts often include:
Exiles: These are parts that hold painful memories and emotions, particularly those related to past traumas. They are often buried deep within the psyche to protect the individual from overwhelming feelings. Exiles can look like the belief “I am not worthy of love.” “I am too much.” and so on.
Managers: These parts strive to maintain control and manage daily life effectively. They work to prevent the exiles from surfacing, often leading to avoidance behaviors. Managers can look like perfectionism/overachieving, keeping yourself overly busy, or focusing energy on others instead of yourself.
Firefighters: When exiles break through—triggering emotional distress—firefighters intervene with impulsive behaviors aimed at minimizing pain. Firefighters can look like substance use, retaliatory behavior, or dissociation.
By identifying and understanding these parts, adults can begin to navigate their complex emotional landscape and recognize how these dynamics influence their present behavior.
How IFS Therapy Facilitates Healing
When you work with a licensed therapist or counselor who utilizes IFS, you get the opportunity to understand your attachment experiences and current impacts more clearly, create more harmony within yourself, and connect to meaningful actions from an authentic place.
Creating a Safe Space for Exploration: IFS therapy provides a non-judgmental environment where individuals can explore their internal world. This safety allows clients to confront and process painful memories associated with childhood trauma without feeling overwhelmed. Processing experiences within a safe therapeutic relationship is also a reparative experience, where a client gets to feel seen and appreciated when they show up as their Authentic Self.
Reconnecting with Exiled Parts: The goal of IFS therapy is to help individuals access their exiled parts in a healthy manner. By gently engaging with these parts, clients can understand their perspectives and the emotions they hold. This process promotes the healing of old wounds.
Creating Harmony Among All Parts: IFS therapy is not about getting rid of the different Manager and Firefighter parts. Rather, it is about building a sense of safety so that when different parts show up, clients can take a step into their Authentic Self to navigate situations. The goal here is self-understanding, self-acceptance, and self-leadership.
Restoring Self-Leadership: IFS emphasizes that everyone possesses a core Self— who they are authentically. This self is connected to their value system, goals, and authentic beliefs. IFS supports clients as they learn to identify their core Self and learn to navigate the world from a Self-led place.
IFS allows clients to grow from a place of true Self understanding.
There are a lot of different approaches to healing trauma out there, which is great because everyone’s lived experience is different- which means that they may benefit from a different approach to healing than someone else. As a therapist who specializes in trauma who believes we can always learn more about ourselves, I personally love Internal Family Systems therapy because it promotes so much self-exploration and growth through the healing process.
Here are some specific ways IFS can be a benefit to healing past childhood trauma:
Enhanced Self-Understanding: IFS fosters a deeper understanding of one's emotional landscape, helping individuals identify patterns of behavior and reactions tied to past trauma. For many, knowing the why behind their responses to the world can be extremely helpful and validating.
Increased Emotional Regulation: By recognizing and giving voice to internal parts, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms, leading to improved emotional regulation. In doing parts work, clients can identify when their parts are pushing towards less helpful responses, and explore ways of coping with and responding to stressors that align with their Authentic Self.
Empowerment: Engaging with internal parts empowers individuals, as they learn that they are not defined solely by their trauma but rather have the capacity for healing and growth. Not only can clients see this in their own experiences, but can also learn to see this capacity and connection to others as well.
Improved Relationships: As individuals heal from their childhood experiences, they often find that their interpersonal relationships improve. Being able to connect to the Self more clearly supports a better understanding of wants and needs in relationships as well as being able to hold boundaries more confidently. When clients begin to operate from a more Self-led place, they can more easily elicit and connect to the Authentic Selves in others as well.
Long-Lasting Change: IFS promotes lasting change by addressing the root causes of trauma rather than merely treating symptoms. When clients get to learn more about the impact of past attachment wounds and connect to themselves in more authentic ways, they are able to grow in ways they may never have imagined.
Interested in utilizing parts work / Internal Family Systems as you work on healing attachment trauma?
As a trauma therapist in Minnesota, IFS is a therapeutic approach that I utilize with all of my clients, either in subtle ways or specific and intentional ways- depending on what the client is looking for. I am passionate about supporting my clients as they explore their attachment histories and how the impact on their current lived experiences, holding space for healing and building self-knowledge, and empowering them as they move forwards in Self-leadership.
I practice in Minnesota and offer in-person sessions in Eagan, MN as well as virtual therapy sessions for those living anywhere in MN. Learn more about me and schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me here!
In addition to attachment / trauma work in my therapy practice, I also specialize in perinatal mental health and parenting. So if you are looking to do some attachment work as you grow your family- I am absolutely your gal!