Is it just typical newborn worries or Postpartum Anxiety?
Hey there! I’m Kayla Estenson Williams. I am a marriage and family therapists who supports new parents- specifically those navigating the anxieties that can come along with raising kids.
It makes sense to feel a bit more cautious when bringing your newborn home- but where do you draw the line between those typical newborn worries and Postpartum Anxiety? First, I’ll say that it’s okay to get therapeutic support for either one- but we’ll also get into what signs and symptoms are letting you know that your mental health could really use some TLC.
Typical Newborn Worries
Of course you’re feeling a little bit more anxious when bringing home your baby! You’ve got a tiny and delicate human in your hands. They cry a lot, but can’t specifically tell you what they need. They probably don’t like sleeping anywhere but in your arms, but you’re getting pretty sleep deprived. They are this miraculous little human that you’ve been waiting for- and you want to make sure they are safe and feel loved.
We tend to get a little more anxious about the things that are the most important to us- such as parenting our children. And, now you are bringing home this little human and figuring out the ropes for a whole new experience! You want to be the best parent you can, and there’s really no clear indication of if you’re doing the right thing or not.
Let’s add the hormone changes, relationship and role changes, sleep deprivation, and everything else that comes along with these early months- it makes sense that you’re probably feeling a bit off.
As I stated before, even if it doesn’t hit the threshold of Postpartum Anxiety, it’s okay to get support. You’re going through a significant life transition, it makes sense that you’d have a lot to process and need some additional coping skills added into the mix. But, rest assured, that nothing is necessarily wrong or abnormal if you’re feeling more stressed right now.
Here are some common ways that those typical newborn worries can show up:
Feeling like there is a lot on your mind around keeping up with the newborn tasks, such as feedings, diaper changes, cleaning bottles, getting in naps, etc.
Feeling a bit extra cautious about safe sleep, implementing strategies to get your little one to actually sleep, and also trying to make sure your baby is getting enough feeds in the middle of the night.
Feeling the stress of figuring out feeding. Whether it is figuring out breastfeeding, pumping timelines, or making sure you have enough formula mixed up- there is a lot to do and be mindful of in regards to feeding!
Feeling the effects of sleep deprivation- which can look like brain fog, feeling grumpy, and physically not feeling great.
Feeling the effects of hormonal changes- which can show up with big emotions, crying easier than usual, feeling overwhelmed easier than usual, and just not feeling like yourself.
It’s a little tricky to draw the line between normal worries and Postpartum Anxiety, because it really comes down to intensity and impact. Someone who has Postpartum Anxiety is typically feeling all of the “normal worries” at a higher and more complex intensity, and is feeling the impact of them more significantly.
Those who are experiencing more typical newborn worries will certainly be affected by the impacts of caring for a newborn, but it won’t be the worries themselves causing the significant changes in functioning.
So, what does Postpartum Anxiety look like?
Postpartum anxiety affects somewhere between 15% and 30% of women after giving birth, and affects around 10% of partners. So, while it may not be just the normal newborn worries, Postpartum Anxiety is quite common.
Major life transitions, hormone changes, and role changes often impact our mental health. While you can do things to support your mental health and reduce your risk factors for anxiety during life transitions, you can’t necessarily prevent yourself from getting Postpartum Anxiety. Some folks will notice symptoms show up in the first few months, but know that symptoms can show up any time within the first couple of years!
Here are some common symptoms of Postpartum Anxiety:
Note that you do not have to meet every symptom to meet criteria for Postpartum Anxiety. But, if you’re feeling like some of these are showing up for you, it might be a good idea to check in with a licensed professional.
Excessive worrying: there are so many different “normal” worries that can show up during the first few months of parenthood, but here are some common worries that I see show up for those who have Postpartum Anxiety:
Feeling overwhelmed trying to balance all of the different newborn tasks,
worrying about baby’s safety- whether it be about safe sleep, if they’re eating enough, if they’re growing enough, if they’re developing appropriately, etc.,
worrying about timing out all of the feeds/diaper changes/etc correctly (this can look like obsessively tracking all of these things)
worrying if you are doing things the “right” way.
Difficulty managing the worry. Even if you tell yourself that it’s all okay, you have a hard time believing it and trusting that things will be okay. And, while it’s hard to find the time or energy for self-care, you find that your usual self-care practices don’t seem to help the anxiety much.
Physical symptoms related to the anxiety. Some common physical symptoms are:
feeling restless or on edge
feeling easily fatigued
experiencing muscle tension
racing heartbeat
shortness of breath
Irritability. You might find yourself having a shorter temper than usual, getting frustrated with others easier, or getting stuck in cycles of negative self-talk.
Difficulty concentrating. While “mom brain” is so normal postpartum, Postpartum Anxiety can also leave you feeling like it’s hard to focus or get your mind off of other worries so that you can be in the moment.
What to do if you think you might have Postpartum Anxiety?
Working with a licensed therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health is often a good first step when working through Postpartum Anxiety. Your therapist can help you understand your experience of anxiety, process what is showing up for you, and connect to skills to help you navigate and reduce the intensity of your symptoms.
We have therapists who specialize in and are certified in Perinatal Mental Health- you can check out our team here. As we can only support folks located in Minnesota, you can also check out Postpartum Support International for a broader directory of postpartum specialists.
For some, medication can be a great addition to your therapy process in reducing current symptoms. It’s common for new parents to need to utilize medications for anxiety or depression in those first few months of adjustment, and for many can be a short-term process (also, totally okay if it ends up feeling like a good benefit for the long-term too!).
Often, you can talk with your primary care physician or OB to discuss medication options and get started with a plan that works best for you. While starting a new medication postpartum can be anxiety-provoking, especially if you are breastfeeding, many medications are perfectly safe postpartum and for those who are breastfeeding. If your provider isn’t versed in medication for the perinatal medication, you can direct them here as a resource to consult.
Getting professional support can make a huge difference in your postpartum experience- even if things are feeling smooth! It’s such a major life transition, and so it makes sense to need a little time and space to process it all.
Working with a therapist you trust can help you to feel less alone and more understood in this complicated time of life. Processing your experiences, values, and goals can also help you to identify ways in which you really want to show up as a parent- and connect to that in healthy ways.
Not only can therapy be a great way to get support for our own experiences during significant life transitions- but it also helps us connect to our family in authentic and meaningful ways over time.
Looking for postpartum support in Minnesota?
We’re here to help. We offer individual and couples therapy with therapists who specialize in perinatal mental health. Check out all of our services here, and meet our team here!