What a therapist recommends after a pregnancy loss

Pregnancy loss can be a confusing, sad, and anxiety provoking time. At Minnesota Attachment Collective, we have therapists who specialize in pregnancy loss- and here are some things we recommend you do after experiencing a loss.

Seek Support

Pregnancy loss is a loss, and you deserve support after a loss. Whether it be with supportive loved ones or a therapist, finding a space where you can feel seen and heard makes a difference. Practicing vulnerability isn’t easy, and can feel uniquely complicated after a pregnancy loss, and- connecting to a safe space to hold your grief is an important part of healing. If you live in Minnesota, you can check out our therapists here.

Remember that your loss is valid, no matter the timing

A pregnancy loss is no more or less valid based on the timing of your loss. A miscarriage that occurs right after a positive pregnancy test as well as a still birth after viability both hold grief in unique and painful ways. Dismissing your grief based on the timeline of your loss will not take the pain away, nor is it helpful to someone who experienced loss at a different point in time. Honor your loss.

Try to not put pressure on yourself

Sometimes, those who have experienced a pregnancy loss may feel pressured to try to get pregnant again right away. Based on how you are feeling, this may be a good choice for you, and it is okay if you need time. Allow yourself to process the emotions that you need. And, know that there may also never feel like a time that the grief has “fully healed”, and when it feels right- it’s also okay to move forwards.

Honor your pregnancy

If it feels right to you, find some way to honor your pregnancy. This may mean writing a letter to the child who could have been, wearing a pice of jewelry to remember the pregnancy, or holding space for grief on the anniversary of your loss. There is no right or wrong way to honor your experience- so connect to whatever feels supportive to you.

Allow space for grief

Grief is a complex emotion that doesn’t just go away once we have processed it. Grief tends to ebb and flow- there may be seasons of your life where you feel the loss more significantly, and other seasons of life where it doesn’t show up as much. Allow space for grief- however it wants to show up. Connect to self-care and self-compassion, and seek support when you need it.

We know loss as well as fertility challenges. We offer virtual and in-person therapy to those in Minnesota. View our therapists here, and check out our therapy offerings here.