Top 5 New Year's Intentions to Support Your Mental Health
With each new year comes the topic of New Year's Resolutions. For some, this can be an exciting time of committing to new habits or goals they feel connected to. For others, this can be a time of feeling like they have fallen short of what the goals they have already set for themselves and feelings that they need to change themselves to be worthy. For many- it's a complicated mix of both.
So let's start you off this year with something that helps you feel good about working towards goals that are important to you by reflecting on some new year's resolutions for mental health. In this article, I'll talk a bit about how we can set up some goals that really feel authentic to us and then I'll go into 5 intentions that can support your mental health.
And to start off- I'm going to change the wording up a bit. Let's reframe new year's resolutions to instead be new year's intentions.
Why intentions?
As a therapist, I find language to be very important. It's not to say that there are words that are good and words that are bad necessarily, just that there are some words that may feel more supportive of us and our goals.
When we hear new year's resolutions, we tend to think of drastic changes. A resolution is a firm decision. A new year's resolution might allude to a transformation of who we are. And, in some cases, maybe the term resolution feels more affirming to what goal you are connecting to.
For example, someone working to cut out a very harmful behavior in their life might feel more empowered by the term resolution as opposed to intention. If that's the case for you, that's totally fine! And- if the term resolution feels too all-or-none for you, I invite you to replace it with the term intention.
An intention is something we aim for or plan for. To me, it connects more to my internal feeling and desire around a goal rather than feeling attached to a certain outcome. This can give a goal a bit more flexibility, which believe it or not, will allow you to be more successful.
If we have a new year's resolution to go for a walk outside every single day, we might feel like we've failed this goal of transformation if we miss a day or two. This feeling of failure is more likely to leave us feeling disconnected from our goal and discontinue working towards it rather than helping us get back on track.
On the other hand, if we have an intention to go for a walk outside everyday, we might feel a bit more flexibility in what that looks like. Here's an example: my intention is to walk every day, and realistically, that's not going to happen perfectly. I can intend to walk every day, and some days I might choose not to. Maybe it's pouring rain outside. I can think about my intention to walk, and know that today isn't the best day for it. Choosing to skip my walk today doesn't mean I lost my intention, it just means I'm giving myself the flexibility that allows my intention to be a more realistic goal. An intention as opposed to a resolution also allows for a bit more flexibility in what your actions are.
Why is flexibility important in goal setting?
Often, we set goals for the year to serve a particular outcome we desire. For example, let's say you are choosing to go for a walk every day as a part of your lunch break to help reduce burn out that you have at work. If this is a firm all-or-none resolution, you might get more tied up in the action of walking every day as opposed to the desire to reduce your work burn out.
I find that when we use the term intention, it's easier to connect to the big picture instead of just the habit we're trying to form. If you are working on daily walks to reduce work burn out, then you have the flexibility to assess if these daily walks are actually reducing your work burn out.
Maybe, as you get into the habit of these daily walks, you find that you don't have time to comfortably eat your full lunch on your break. Then you notice your rushed lunch or hunger throughout the afternoon actually makes you more stressed at work. If you're able to be flexible with your goal, you can observe that this daily habit of walking is not actually helping reduce your burn out, and then you can adjust what action you are taking to support your goal of reducing burn out.
Flexibility is essential when we are wanting to work towards goals effectively. As frustrating as it may be to us planners and doers- working towards our goals is really a big act of trial-and-error. In order to find out what works, we have to also figure out what doesn't work.
When you notice some action or habit is not actually supporting the goal you had in mind, remind yourself that this is progress too! Instead of it being a moment of failure, this observation actually helped you get closer to your goal. It helped you identify what isn't working so that you can be flexible in trying something else that might work instead.
Okay, so now we know that the term intentions might resonate better for us, and we know that our goals might need to be flexible and change throughout the year. So, how do we set intentions that truly support us?
Start off by asking yourself what the big picture is. It might be reducing burn out at work, feeling more accepting of yourself, or reducing the impact of anxiety. Yes, there are a whole lot of other big picture goals out there- but I'm going to focus on goals that support our mental health as that is the intention of this article (see what I did there?).
Once we identify the big picture, we are more likely to be able to set some intentions that support this goal. And, then we can adjust them as needed. Remember, it's not about the particular habit you are intending, but about the big picture in how you want to feel!
When our intentions connect to something important for us, we are more likely to stick with it. I don't know how many years I set goals that were totally pointless to me. For example, back when I rock climbed pretty frequently, I would set goals around completing routes of higher grades. Now, that's not a bad intention by any means. If it was important for me to make progress in climbing for any particular reason, that might have been a good goal!
But, at the heart of it, I didn't really care about the progress. Sure, it felt nice when I did a climb harder than I had done before, but I really just enjoyed climbing as a fun way to move my body and a way to connect with friends. So, at the beginning of the year I set goals around reaching a certain grade of climbing, and then I really didn't think about it again. If I instead set intentions around a regular frequency of going climbing, fun activities to plan around climbing events, or fun types of climbs I wanted to try- I might have actually reflected on these intentions more.
So, all to say- start with your why. What is it that you want to feel based on the actions you are taking on your intentions. Why are you doing whatever you're doing? This will give you a nice framework to come back to when you are assessing if an intention is feeling supportive to you or if you need to switch it up.
Now let's get into some intentions that can support your mental health!
Once you've checked in with yourself and what feels meaningful for you- your why- then you'll want to set some intentions that support your why. Here, I'll go over 5 habits that you might set as new year's intentions to support your mental health. As a therapist, these are some of my favorite habits to connect to when I need them myself- as well as ones I often recommend to clients!
ONE: Add physical activity into your routine.
We know that regularly moving our body is great for our physical health, but it also works wonders for our mental health. Physical activity can help us release stress from the body, lowers the stress hormones of adrenaline and cortisol in our body, increases the pleasure hormone of dopamine in our body, can lower levels of anxiety or depression, helps improve sleep, and can serve as an excellent self care practice in our daily routine.
I tend to use the term physical activity over exercise, because I want to emphasize the fact that it doesn't have to look like any form of formal exercise. While some folks love their exercise routines of going to a spin class, heading out for a run, or going to the gym- others may find the word exercise restrictive.
If you need a bit more mental flexibility in how you look at exercise, I encourage you to shift to focusing on physical activity. We can move our body in ways that support our physical health and mental health in a number of different ways! It might look like more formal examples of exercise, or it might look like going for a walk, going dancing, adding some gentle yoga stretches into your day, or even getting housework done.
I think the most important thing to connect to when setting an intention of regular physical activity is to make sure it's something sustainable to you. If getting out to the gym isn't an easy thing to do, then don't make that your only intention around getting in movement. Find movement that is easy for you to connect to and is something you look forward to. And again, this can be a trial and error process. Know that you can be flexible and adjust what your physical activity routine looks like for you.
TWO: Add nervous system regulation practices into your routine.
If you are working to reduce levels of anxiety, depression, trauma responses, feelings of stress, or anything else impacting your mental health- starting with nervous system regulation practices can be helpful! These are practices that you can bring in regularly that communicate to your nervous system that you are safe.
I have a recent podcast episode where I talk about some somatic practice for nervous system regulation that you can check out here, but I'll briefly go over a few of my favorite nervous system regulation practices here:
Cold exposure: grab an ice pack and place it over your eyes, dunk your face in a bowl of cold water, or turn your shower to the cold setting for a minute or so as you wrap up your shower. This cold exposure helps bring your nervous system out of the sympathetic nervous system (the stress response) and into the parasympathetic nervous system (the rest and digest response).
Deep breathing practices: Slowing down the breath can have the same effect on our nervous system. Start with wherever you feel comfortable- which may just be observing the breath without changing it. As you build up in your breathing practice, you can work to slow down the breath and really extend that exhale. A fuller breath with a longer exhale helps to slow down all of those processes that get revved up when we are feeling stressed.
Engage in soothing stretches: Slow flow or gentle yoga classes can feel so relaxing because they typically emphasize soothing stretches or postures for our body. Postures that tend to be the most relaxing for our nervous system are forward folds- examples of this is either a seated or standing forward fold, child's pose, or bound ankle pose (feel free to google these for more information!). Check in with what feels the most soothing and comfortable in your body, focus more on how a posture feels rather than how it looks, and practice these stretches or postures regularly in your routine.
Connecting to practices that regulate our nervous system on a regular basis help communicate to our body that it is safe to feel relaxed. It can take some time until we start to notice more consistent effects- and these can be such an essential part of a self care routine for our mental health!
THREE: Implement boundaries in your life that feel supportive of you.
Boundaries can be a game changer for our mental health. In a world that asks so much of us, we can easily get pulled into focusing on what everyone else needs instead of focusing on what we need. Boundaries support us being able to take care of ourselves, and they also support our relationships to be as healthy as possible.
Here are a few main boundary areas that you might explore:
Boundaries around your time: It often feels like there isn't enough time in the day because we are overcommitted. We may be overcommitted at work, overcommitted in the activities or plans we agree to, and overcommitted in our to-do lists. Check in with what your ideal balance would look like. For example, if you are someone who doesn't enjoy having multiple different social events on your weekly calendar, then work to hold boundaries around your time so that you are just agreeing to the amount that feels best for you. When we have solid boundaries around our time, we are more likely to be able to feel present in what we are doing, feel motivation around the goals that we are connecting to, and feel less resentful about what is on our plate.
Boundaries in your relationships: This can be one of the hardest areas to implement boundaries as well as one of the most important areas to implement boundaries. Boundaries in relationships can be around time we are spending with someone else, topics of conversation we are willing to engage in, things that we are or are not willing to do for others, etc. Boundaries in relationships support us as well as the strength of our relationships. If you're feeling stuck with boundaries in relationships- you can check out my podcast episodes on How to Communicate and Hold Boundaries as well as Strengthening our Receiving Boundaries.
Boundaries around your self-care: If we want our self-care practices to support us, we need to make sure we have time for them. Maybe you want to practice mindfulness, start a gratitude journal, go for more walks, get more sleep, or go on date nights with your partner. All great things! But, if you don't have time for them, these routines won't help you. In order to create more space for the things that feel fulfilling to us, we may need to focus on spending less time on the things that get in the way. These things might include screen time, scrolling through social media, or spending time outside of our work hours getting work done. Finding a balance for all of these things can be tricky, so I'll repeat it again: allow this to be a process of trial and error.
Boundaries can often feel challenging and uncomfortable. It can be important to accept that boundary work is tough so that you don't feel like you're doing it wrong when it doesn't end up being as easy as you hoped. Boundaries may be something we continue needing to adjust throughout our life, and will be something that give us more space for healthy behaviors, personal growth, and overall well being.
FOUR: Connect to activities that bring you joy.
Doing things that you love may sound simple, but it can actually be quite tricky! Many of us are so focused on meeting societal expectations, that we aren't even totally sure what brings us joy. If that you- know that it's okay and common to feel confused around it. In starting off, you might have to try a handful of different things before finding what does bring you joy.
An important note on this is that these activities don't need to be big or concrete. While some may enjoy painting and sign up for a regular class so they can paint in their weekly routine, others might just find joy in spending quality time with themselves. It doesn't have to be complicated.
Explore what activities (however big or small) bring you joy. Take note on what relationships bring you joy. Tune into what spaces you most often feel joy in. Allow this to be a process of curiosity and exploration. You get to be present with yourself and learn about what brings you joy- and as you continue to get a better idea of it, engage in those things more often!
FIVE: Go to therapy.
I know, I know. It's probably no surprise that a therapist is adding this to the list of intentions to support your mental health. But, it really can be so important to your personal growth and mental well being!
So many of us try to DIY our mental health (trust me, I've been there too), but there is nothing like sitting with a mental health professional who can help guide you through it. Sometimes, we aren't truly aware of the impact of our negative self-talk, how our past impacts our present, or what negative thoughts are really getting in the way.
A licensed therapist can help us to zoom out and observe what is going on, process our past and present experiences, and connect to practices that support our personal goals. Therapy can help you work through trauma, reduce the impact of different mental health conditions, boost self esteem and self compassion, and help us to practice gratitude more regularly.
It's understandable that therapy can feel intimidating if you've never done it before. And, finding a therapist that you resonate with can help you to feel seen, heard, and supported as well as provide you with more resources to feel improved mental health in the long run. A good therapist can be your best accountability partner for whatever goals and intentions you are working to bring in for the new year.
This is where we come in...
At Minnesota Attachment Collective, we are passionate about helping others hold space for themselves, connect to healing practices, and build a life that feels fulfilling to them. We specialize in anxiety, depression, trauma, infertility and pregnancy loss, pregnancy and postpartum, parenthood, and life transitions.
If you are in Minnesota and are looking for a therapist, please reach out! You can learn more about our therapy services here and meet our team here.